Self-Disrespect and Severe Self-Worthlessness
- आँ Marilyn | FIGU USA INC
- May 1
- 9 min read
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Self-disrespect and severe self-worthlessness have certain causes ... If a person has learned in childhood, educationally or otherwise, to understand certain needs, thoughts, feelings, desires and behaviors as evil, negative and bad - regardless of whether they really are or not - then this eats into them and they usually have to chew on it for the rest of their lives because their thoughts and feelings make them believe they are guilty. And if, in the first seven (7) years of life and also up to the age of puberty and adolescence, he is frequently criticized in a foulmouthed, unruly, unjust and unreasonable way, then this not only leads to a false conclusion for the young person that something is wrong with him, but the whole thing is deposited in him for the rest of his life, and, as explained, mentally and emotionally as guilt. This happens if he is not strong and rational enough to bring his own self-education up to speed and to lead his own life in a good, correct and positive way and to develop a healthy self-esteem and appropriate self-worth. However, if this is not done, then the critic in a person leads them to the wrong conclusions, which on the one hand may cause them enormous damage throughout their lives and on the other hand inevitably form the basis for self-rejection, self-hatred and an inferiority complex, as well as causing all self-esteem and self-worth to sink into a deep abyss.
The connection between one's own behavior and the effective respect and true value of one's own person determines what a person does and what he or she becomes. Just as a young person is criticized as a child by his parents or other educators, he also begins to criticize everything and anything that is done to him or taught to him. His criticism, however, is based on the assumption that he must protect himself from rejection, deprivation of love and harm. However, this critical attitude does not pass without leaving a trace, because subliminally, mentally and emotionally, a guilt behavior builds up, because the criticism is directed against the educational and the young person rejects much or even everything and does not want to be the way his parents or other educators want him to be. So even in early childhood, their views are not shared and not implemented because completely different needs, wishes and ideas prevail. Triggered by the criticism, completely different priorities are placed in the foreground, which do not conform to the ideas of the parents or other educators, and consequently completely different moral concepts come to the fore and collide with those of the educators.
However, this then carries over into adolescence and later into adulthood, although - usually completely unconsciously - the thoughts and feelings of guilt run along with them, precisely because they have gone their own way and have partially or completely disregarded their upbringing. And once a person has grown up and is allowed to decide for themselves what is right and wrong and what is good and bad, this causes them enormous problems with regard to their decisions, as a result of which they become anxious, depressed and even fall into depressive states or massive depression. The fact is that both his parents or other educators and he himself have failed to reduce the false criticism during his upbringing and self-education. The fact that it is now finally high time to do this in adulthood in order to create a healthy, good, positive and correct attitude and way of life does not occur to the person, so they continue to muddle along in the old framework and depressively bring themselves ever closer to the abyss into which they ultimately fall hopelessly. However, this triggers new thoughts and feelings of guilt in him, because he knows subliminally that he is breaking the rules of life. So he feels guilty and becomes depressed and simply lives his life as it happens, without aligning it with what would be right, which in turn leads to bad thoughts and feelings of guilt, because deep down in the unconscious there is a quiet voice whispering that everything that is done wrong in life is an absolute and culpable wrong.
These underlying or perhaps even overt feelings of guilt must therefore be reduced, for which it is necessary to pay attention to and do various things, such as the following 50 points:
I am aware and realize that if I have made a mistake and done the wrong thing, I will correct it and make it right.
If I have made mistakes and done wrong, I am aware and realize that both making mistakes and doing wrong are progress-related and cannot be avoided, so everyone is flawed and wrong-doing in one way or another. So it is also wrong to regret mistakes or wrongdoing, to be disappointed or angry about them, even if a certain amount of unavoidable damage has occurred.
I am aware and realize that I myself am not omniscient and not perfect and therefore have to keep learning endlessly.
I am aware and realize that I can only ever start from what is available in terms of my own abilities, possibilities, skills, knowledge and correct behaviour.
I am aware and realize that I am careful not to demand unrealistic needs of my own, but only those that I can achieve through my own efforts.
I am aware and realize that I cannot make anything perfect or perfect, but only relatively perfect and relatively perfect.
I am aware and realize that I myself am never responsible for the thoughts and feelings as well as for the actions, deeds and behaviors of other people, because every person is responsible for everything and anything they do, act and behave.
I am aware and realize that I am not responsible if other people are offended or come to harm due to any circumstances and through my own fault, etc.
I am aware and realize that I myself can never determine how other people feel and behave, because everyone decides for themselves according to their own thoughts and feelings.
I am aware and realize that with regard to my own person, I alone determine my thoughts, feelings and behaviour and that no other person can influence them unless I allow them to.
I am aware and realize that I cannot change anything myself and that I am not responsible if other people create problems for themselves through negative thoughts and feelings, verbal statements, actions and deeds.
I am aware and realize that with regard to my own person, I can only control my personal behavior through my own thoughts and feelings as well as through my own mind and reason.
I am aware and realize that I am considerate of my fellow human beings if this is necessary for any reason.
I am aware and realize that I alone make every decision about how much I personally give up or achieve.
I am aware and realize that I alone decide how extensive, high and far-reaching my own efforts are in any given matter or issue.
I am aware and realize that I can never do everything right for all my fellow human beings, because everyone has their own ideas about what is right etc., so I can only do my best, which will then be judged by others.
I am aware and realize that I can never know how any fellow human being perceives, sees and judges something.
I am aware and realize that I differentiate between things that I cannot do anything about and things that I can do or have to do.
I am aware and realize that I do not waste my energy and strength on things or projects over which, in my experience, I have no influence.
I am aware and realize that if I make a mistake or do the wrong thing, I will make a conscious effort to pay better attention next time and concentrate better on what I need to do.
I am aware and realize that I am generally realistic about my expectations in life because I can only be successful if I have realistic expectations.
I am aware and realize that I always try to see only the positive side of a difficult situation, as long as everything is realistic.
I am aware and realize that even in an embarrassing situation, I can see and understand funny or absurd aspects correctly.
I am aware and realize that I can also laugh at myself and when jokes are made about me or when I am 'put on the spot'.
I am aware and realize that I have a sense of humor, that I can behave humorously and that I can also express myself verbally in a humorous way.
I am aware and clear that I absolutely know and respect my own boundaries, just as I accept the boundaries of my neighbors, friends, acquaintances and fellow human beings.
I am aware and realize that I cultivate my interpersonal relationships, partnerships and friendships openly and honestly and know that this is very valuable.
I am aware and realize that I ensure a regular physical balance, such as through gymnastics, walks and sport, as a result of which I spend a lot of time outdoors in the fresh air every day.
I am aware and realize that I eat sensibly and that I avoid being overweight, as this is harmful to my health.
I am aware and realize that I always get enough sleep and rest and therefore only get up when I am rested and refreshed.
I am aware and realize that I eat regularly and with moderation and purpose even during longer periods of stress and that I eat a healthy diet that is low in fat but regular in meat, fish, vegetables and fruit, etc.
I am aware and realize that when I feel tense, I make a conscious effort to relax, e.g. with a relaxation method I have learned or by going for a walk.
I am aware and realize that I do something I enjoy every day or at least several times a week.
I am aware and clear that I maintain a balance between work commitments, family commitments and leisure activities.
I am aware and clear that I eat normally, drink only little alcohol, that I do not smoke, but especially make sure that it never becomes excessive in stressful situations.
I am aware and realize that I do not take drugs and that I only use medication in exceptional situations and never on a regular basis.
I am aware and realize that if I am overwhelmed in any way, I set myself priorities, make the best use of my time and plan time for myself to recover.
I am aware and realize that, if necessary, I always make a plan for what I want to do or have to do in order to make the most of my time and guarantee a regular schedule.
I am aware and realize that I sometimes have to take a back seat if a certain situation does not allow otherwise, but that the world does not end and life goes on.
I am aware and realize that I do what is necessary when something needs to be done and then do it properly to my own satisfaction, which usually also makes other people happy.
I am aware and realize that I am just as valuable and important in my own right and that I view and value myself in the same way as I do my fellow human beings, because everyone is just as valuable and important as everyone else.
I am aware and realize that I can do something bad myself, unconsciously or out of a lack of understanding etc., but that I am still not a person of badness.
I am aware and realize that I often change my own behaviour through the behaviour of my fellow human beings and that I have to behave in a different way than is basically my own, but which is incumbent on me to do in order to be able to assert myself against others, whereby this behaviour imposed on me by my fellow human beings does not correspond in any way to my own character, nor to my own personality, nor to my own normal behaviour.
I am aware and realize that I have to demand things of myself in relation to my own person, but these are always in the form of 'I do' or 'I try'. I never allow 'I will try' or 'I should have' etc., because these forms are indeterminate and produce nothing concrete.
I am aware and realize that if I catch myself thinking and feeling guilty under certain circumstances, that does not make me inhuman or inconsiderate or negative etc.
I am aware and realize that I always do and accomplish everything to the best of my ability and capacity, whatever I touch and have to do.
I am aware and realize that if I have thoughts and feelings of guilt, I do not have to punish myself in any way.
I am aware and realize that I am always working on myself and making the best of my thoughts and feelings.
I am aware and realize that in terms of creating good, positive and right thoughts, feelings and behaviors, I cannot create anything from one moment to the next because everything and anything takes time to be done or created.
I am aware and realize that I must never rush anything, because only patience leads to success, according to the idea that only patience brings roses, for which, however, the rose bush must first grow, then bring thorns and leaves, before a bud is formed, which then begins to open and finally unfolds its splendor and fragrance.
by "Billy' Eduard Albert Meier
February 7th 2013
ORIGINAL GERMAN SOURCE: Warum der Mensch das wird, was er ist und Kampf den Depressionen
This is an authorized translation of a FIGU publication. This translation contains errors due to the insurmountable language differences between German and English. The British-English language has been specifically elected by the Plejaren as being the most suitable English language variation for the translation of all German FIGU publications.
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